We all got an extra hour of sleep last night, which to a mom of little ones essentially means that everything just starts an hour earlier. But that’s ok, because mornings are my favorite and I love that the sun will rise before the world really gets going with their day now. And do you remember that summer sunshine I bragged about for three solid months? You know, the 10:00pm sunsets and late nights on the deck with friends? Well, THIS is where we earn them. We have officially entered the abyss of darkness that is the winter months, when the sun is gone a little after 4:00pm and we all walk around just a little bit tired and slightly Vitamin D deficient for the next half a year. Soldier on, Northwesterners. June is a mere eight months from today and in the meantime I will just casually leave three words here for your cold hands to hold on to: toasted graham lattes.
Our life on the homefront has been both the best and the fullest of any season I can remember. In the midst of babies and bellies growing, careers demanding time, relationships needing tending and all the usual stuff of life, God has been so, so good to do something for Alex and I: He has united us in ways that I’m not sure we have ever been so ‘together’ on before. We are hungry for God’s word, and while our time and walks with the Lord are separate, the paths are merging in the sweetest ways. I did not truly realize until recently that we have mostly cheered one another on in our four years of marriage—not at all a bad thing—but right now it feels like we are hand in hand and not waving at each other from a sideline. I feel so lucky to do life with this man and call him the leader of our family, more and more every day.
The last two months have also taught me a whole lot about juggling, a skill I thought I had down because, well, former student-athlete over here. But let me tell you, Division I sports has nothing on motherhood, nothing. Add 36 weeks of pregnancy to that mix and GOODNIGHT. Keeping up with an almost-three year old, an eighteen month old who climbs on everything, and a baby boy who seems to be half-ninja in my belly has me leaning toward the deep end of exhaustion every day. The kind where, if you sit down past 3:00pm, it takes an effort of monumental proportions to lift your own body again—mostly because we all feel the size of a child humpback at this point in baby-growing. I’ve also taught nine credits since the end of August, which means grading, always grading (shout out to the two grandmas in my life for free babysitting!). And perhaps the weightiest, no pun intended, piece of the last few months has been less physical and more emotional, because I’m watching the refugees and learning more and more of their plight and my heart falls right down to the floor (p.s. you can still HELP raise money for them right here!). I’m sitting with friends who are walking through cancer diagnoses with people they love dearly, and it’s painful. I’m part of building a small team of women that want to tell a different story to the world about our sisters stuck in the sex industry, and it’s hard to meet those women and hear what they actually think of themselves.
You see friends, I’m so much of a make a list and get to work on it kind of person that this season of tenderness and deep feeling God has brought me to has truly stretched and humbled me. Between God’s Word, and of course, third trimester hormones, I’m in a new place. Still rejoicing in all the good, but really feeling the hard and wrestling through the insecurity that seems to follow any good endeavor we all make (anyone else feel like they always need to be told “Hey, you’re doing alright!”)?
In the end, the Fall season has been beautifully stretching, as much of life seems to be. We’ve had children’s dentist appointments (I cannot talk about this), broken garage doors (not cheap), and freeway calls to AAA (just get the membership, worth it). But we also have had late nights in our friend’s home, the kind where you put the babies to bed in pack n’ plays and stay up late solving all of life’s dilemmas (my favorite kind). Big Al and I snuck away to a hotel (with a Jacuzzi tub!) for one night and enjoyed very second of it (and also slept nine hours. Hallelujah). My best friend spent a weekend in town from Georgia and Harper jumped into her arms again and again and again at the park (it does something crazy good to your soul when lifetime friends become heroes to your babies). We’ve all been growing, all been learning, all been stumbling. And it’s all been worth it; I think it always will be when you somehow love Jesus a little bit more when you’re standing again.
And here we are in November. Just over four weeks from my third baby in three years, and very much looking forward to life with him and the other three people under my roof. I have prepared less for this baby by a large measure than the other two, and I’m looking forward to wrapping up a few projects and then just being: finishing the room transition, packing a hospital bag, praying, waiting, praying some more, teaching my toddlers about thankfulness and practicing it every day, and keeping scripture at the center of my life and home. And who knows, if baby boy decides to come a week early like his siblings, my November round-up might be a little extra exciting!
I hope your November is filled with good things, including cozy socks and fireplaces and time, just time to be around the people who fill you up. I am immeasurably thankful for mine.