The women of the IF:Gathering have left me with words that are game changers; too much to process in one sitting or one day. This is part five of a week long look back at the ways that I don’t want to stay the same.
It’s 4:40am on Friday morning after a very full week. We’ve had everything from small group, bible study, workouts, and class to croup, timeouts for a two year old, bad days on the job, and taxes. In six days, all these things and a hundred more. My jobs are to be a wife and a mom, and then I get paid by teaching and I get filled by writing. And some days I feel like I have a better handle on it all than others, but really, that’s just life, isn’t it?
On Sunday after the IF:Gathering last weekend, I committed to spending time each morning diving a little bit deeper in to the moments and words that were most impactful to me. With a little help from the kids who slept past 6:00am some days and from Daniel Tiger on in the background on the other days, I’ve been able to do it. But honestly, Monday was easy. Today is not. The words are coming slowly and incoherently at times. I’m feeling tired and out of creativity, and we ran out of TJ’s cold brew—a small tragedy in itself.
But maybe, just maybe I’m supposed to be a little spent. Because the last phrase I had picked out to write about last weekend is much more important today than it would have been on Monday. From Bianca Olthoff’s closing lesson, a reminder for all of us: show up everyday.
Not just when I am full and rested.
Not just when I see results.
And not just when it’s easy. Or because people will like me.
I want to show up everyday because God can use me everyday. He can use all of us. Giving my best is enough. Giving my brave is enough. God does the hard part when I show up. Our lives have the amazing gift of knowing where this story ends, so I’m going to start at that place— with a kingdom that cannot be shaken*— and live from there. Everyday. Many days I will stumble or even crawl through, unsure of everything except this: God is not done, and he is writing our stories into a beautiful ending. But we have to show up.
P.S. Thanks to everyone for sticking with me this week.