37 things I know
(from experience)
(or, at least I am pretty sure of them)
(alternative title: the story of me growing up in 37 items)
Praying for lifelong friends, sisters, people who will walk with you in all of your becoming, is one of the best things you can pray for.
Wear sunscreen. I’m serious.
You’re stronger than you think. See:
Learning how to walk again three different times
Moving across the country where you knew no one
Carrying your own furniture up three flights of stairs by yourself when the movers never showed up
“No” is one of the most important words in anyone’s vocabulary. See:
No, I don’t like beer, but thank you for offering.
No, I don’t think it’s funny to overhear you talking about my body behind my back just because I’m the only woman working down here.
Getting to know the baristas at your favorite coffee shop is an excellent idea.
The guy who is not texting you back, he did not just forget his phone. Or fall asleep early. You can stop making excuses for him.
Long Island Iced Teas are a misnomer. Slow down, girl.
Cheer, as genuinely as you can, for the people getting what you want in life, like jobs and engagement rings and babies. You’ll need this skill your entire life. Jealousy can paralyze you.
That same guy is also not worth taking a $12,000 a year job to stay in the same city as him, in case he finally texts you back. And, you really can stop making excuses for him.
College campuses are magical places. Memorize the way the library smells, the view from the window out of your favorite class, the feeling of accomplishing so much that so few people will ever see.
You’re braver than you think. See:
Walking out of the same guy’s office and finally, finally, never looking back. And finally, finally, not wanting him to follow you.
Spending the summer in Bogota, Colombia, by yourself.
The guy who does text you back when he says he will, pay attention to how that feels.
Listen with your eyes.
“Yes” is one of the most important words in anyone’s vocabulary. See:
Yes, I’d love to get to know you more.
Yes, I’ll be your girlfriend.
Yes, I forgive you.
Start the blog. Just start.
Consider just eloping on the beach with your closest people around you. Weddings are a lot of work.
Your honeymoon is more important than your new job. Ask for the full week off, not just three days. You are not impressing anyone.
Scarcity mindset is crippling. Fight it every single day of your life.
You’ll say “'I’m sorry” more than almost any other phrase over a lifetime so get real comfortable really meaning it.
Nothing magical happens to prepare you for motherhood. You learn one day at a time.
P.s. You learn mostly by getting things wrong.
For better or for worse, your children are not a report card on your performance.
For better or for worse, people are not thinking about you as much as you think they are thinking about you. They are mostly thinking about themselves just like you are mostly thinking about yourself.
You are stronger than you think. See:
Having three babies in three years.
Unmedicated birth.
Navigating the weight of an autism diagnosis and learning how to be an advocate for your son.
Having three babies in three years again.
Keep writing. It matters.
Use the library. Amazon gets expensive and you will run out of room for books.
Except do buy the handful of books that change you. Make room for those ones. Read them again.
“Yes” is still one of the most important words in anyone’s vocabulary. See:
Yes, we’ll take the baby girl who needs a safe home tonight.
Yes, we’ll adopt her.
Cheer, as genuinely as you can, for the people getting what you want in life, like typically developing children and book deals and vacations. You still need this skill your entire life. Jealousy can paralyze you.
Talk to your friends every day. Every single day. God’s been answering the prayers you’ve been praying for decades in them.
Accept help. With meals, with laundry, with your kids, with your marriage.
Life surprises you in beautiful and devastating ways. Don’t try to make too much sense of it all when you’re in the middle.
“No” is still one of the most important words in anyone’s vocabulary. See:
No, I can’t commit to that right now.
No, I’m not interested in that opportunity.
No, I’m not going to quit.
Find a counselor.
Keep writing, it matters.
One day at a time. One day at a time. One day at a time.
The gospel will prove, over and over again, to be the only thing that truly makes sense about life. (This one, I’m the most sure of.)
Here’s to 37. And a lifetime of making a longer list.